Wine and the Gutsy Girl...

*Sigh* - the weekend…a time to reflect. Recently I’ve been thinking quite a bit about life and what I want out of it - Where I want to be in ten years? How do I get there? Am I on the right track? Our company lawyer actually spurred this train thought. See…Two weeks ago I was asked to represent the company at a Jazz Benefit along with a handful of my co-workers. Not a bad deal – dinner, drinks, and Anita Baker. Who could ask for more? Luckily for me our company lawyer, Cindy, could.

It was about a half hour into dinner when the waiter came to refill our wine glasses -Cindy chose this moment to schmooze. With her persuasive abilities, Cindy managed to keep the bottle of wine by her plate as she waved goodbye to the young bashful waiter. This was the start. A bit later, Cindy turned to me and bombarded me with her lecture on life (as most women her age tend to do to a young working professional - much appreciated as always) - the right way to do things, the way not to let men step over you, and how I could have it all. She had read a book called Why Good Girls Don’t Get Ahead, But Gutsy Girls Do by Kate White. As wine bottle emptied the “gutsy girl” became the “gushy girl”, but her point remained the same – she saw the “gushy” in me and wanted to make sure I knew how to capitalize on it. This was coming from the lawyer who throws happy hours in the office when the executives go on their annual retreat and when we're working late she pops open her fridge to pass coolers around.

As I hailed a cab home I laughed to myself – did she really think I would read a self help book?! Not on my dime. I guess even in her tipsy state she knew me too well because the next day I found the book sitting on my chair. First impression – the cover sucks, the woman on the cover has an outfit on that screams 1980's, and here’s the kicker subheading – 9 secrets every working woman must know? Yeah right. But she had gone out of her way to give it to me, so when she walked over I gushed about how excited I was.

Regretfully on the way home, I put away the novel I was reading and decided to nail out this book quickly to get it over with. This is where my disbelief ends. I haven’t yet completely finished the book but I have to say – if you’re a young working woman you have to read this! No, it isn’t life changing but it makes you aware of the subconscious day to day things you do that make you blend into the background, that keep you from being the success story. This is the type of book that you buy, read, and are happy when you pass it to a girlfriend and never get it back (hopefully she’s passing it on to someone else). Here are some of the more interesting lines I found in the book:

• A Gutsy Girl Breaks the Rules
• Why they shoot down mavericks – this section talks about why people are eager to shoot down mavericks who take risks and how to get people on board before you even present an idea. I agree office politics suck, but this chapter is about righting the law for your own politics in the office.
  

• A Gutsy Girl Has One Clear Goal for the Future – this was one of my favorite chapters
• My girlfriends and I talk about this all time! Focus - have a vision. I know it’s hard to figure out what you want, but figure out what you want now in the next 3-5 years and if possible farther out. If you’re reading this Alegna I’m reinforcing what I always say - take baby steps! It’s about the next step but knowing the whole race!

• A Gutsy Girl Does Only What’s Essential – interesting tactics
• Give away the grunt work and twist the story so everyone wants to work. This is a scary chapter to read because it’s true that we take on everything that we can. Learning to delegate is against our natural instincts! While not my favorite chapter, definitely one of the more helpful ones.

• A Gutsy Girl Doesn’t Worry Whether People Like Her
• The guy secret to not taking things personally – damn those guys, but it’s true sometimes I take things way to personally and think about things for days (even over the weekend!). And my favorite part of this section: How to get people to worship you – this is all about one word: passion. You have it! Learn to use it!

I haven’t read these chapters yet, but these are the titles that intrigue me the most!

• A Gutsy Girl Walks and Talks Like a Winner
  
• Walking into a room: the power of a woman (more than just heels and cleavage)
  
• A Gutsy Girl Asks for What She Wants
• How to take no the gutsy way and what to do afterwards to get your way
  
• A Gutsy Girl Faces Trouble Head-on
• Why even nice co-workers become barracudas (what a great title!!!!)
• A Gutsy Girl Trusts Her Instinct
• Five ways to know what people don’t want you to know
  
• Gutsy Girls Take Smart Risks
• Taking the heat and what to do when you’re in over your head (this isn't a bad thing!)
  

So you’ve read these fun titles and you don’t want to buy the book. No problem, find me and I’ll pass it on to you!